maryanna's Journal
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Friday, June 29, 2007
Adri I read you, your brilliant and the shine from your curls, I can see it from my front room window.
I've moved to Providence which is the capital of Rhode Island, a port near the head of the Providence River, on the Atlantic Coast. Providence was founded by Roger Williams in 1636 as a haven for religious dissenters. The population is currently 173,618 + 1.
Another source informs me that Providence is also:
1. a noun
2. the protective care of God or of nature as a spiritual power (the latter part of the definition was probably added in the 19th century, I bet big money on it)
3. God or nature as providing such care
4. Timely preparation for future eventualities
The las definition has me going, this shall be my mantra, its in the vital form of all that is reasonable.
For Now.
Current music: Radiohead-Bullet Proof
Thursday, December 14, 2006
While in the moment time seems fleeting, the endearing antiquity of it is all there is to have.
Current music: OH Radiohead, You Know
Friday, December 8, 2006
Dear Virginia,
I am speaking to you directly, think of this as a message from God, I am your angel Gabriel. Good luck on finals you superstar.
Love,
Mary
P.S. Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus!
Current mood:  dorky
Saturday, November 11, 2006
It's been something
Something
Something
Living in this hole,
Not the hole of Fortin
But the hole of Britian
Regardless
Alone but forever together
Single
Singer
Slaying
Severe
Sincerity
I'm better ready
To be okay now.
Alone.
Alone. Alone,
This is a victorious call
Ring long
Ring loud
Alone, lone wander lonely wandering wanderer
Do not get scared
Press on you army of one!
In the end
Drink happy
Alone
Alone, lonely loving
Waiting wins
Waiting wins
Victorious for this winner.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
In a recent survey of myself I find that I have been spending more time reading The New York Times than investigating the media here. Before I left for England I asked my dad about the newspapers in England, he suggested The Guardian, and also mentioned a paper called The Times. I was interested in The Times because of its similarity in name to The New York Times. My father never gives clear reason why he chooses one thing over another, but I soon found out that The Guardian is a paper more to the left than The Times. Furthermore there is another newspaper called The Observer which is even more left, close to propaganda, but I like propaganda, it is more straightforward. Regardless, I have been reading here and there The Guardian, but have to always return to The New York Times because of its relevancy. Reading a British paper feels like reading a history book. Reading a history book where everything you read immediately becomes history, it seems far away, and as though there is nothing to do with what you have read but know it. Quite different from the feeling of reading about MY President, MY New York, MY country. And so the relationship I have with the US seems to be growing stronger and I seem to be itching more and more to want to get my absentee ballot in for the midterm elections.
At Pratt in 2004, my roommate, Reve, and I stayed up to watch the votes be counted. I reflect on the image of her and I sitting cross-legged outside of our room. Reve, was severely distraught, her eyes were wide and looked terrified. We had been talking with her mum through the whole thing and then this final moment when we sat outside our room. She threw ideas out about how it is entirely possible that within moments September 11th could happen all over again because of Bush being in the White House, she told me all about her anarchist friends, and the protests in San Francisco. I was really very detached from the feelings she was having, I voted Democratic and that was all I felt I could have done, what had happened what just what had happened. At that moment, however, I imagine Reve felt as though she was a world away from home. The United States is about 3,000 miles wide, it is about 3,000 miles across land and sea to London. Now I feel this distance and feel stranded.
There was an earthquake in Hawaii, no doubt a natural disaster parallel to the nuclear disasters that seem on the cusp of fruition. Apparently there are discussions about a second nuclear test in North Korea. Nuclear- a reliable source describes it as; "of or relating to the nucleus of an atom, denoting, relating to, or powered by the energy released in nuclear fission or fusion" Fission-"a nuclear reaction in which a heavy nucleus splits spontaneously or on impact with another particle, with the release of energy" Fusion-"a nuclear reaction in which atomic nuclei of low atomic number fuse to form a heavier nucleus with the release of energy"
It is phrases such as "split spontaneously", and "on impact", and "release of energy" which shake my brain, these phrases seem all so natural and while they are, because nuclei are part of atoms, are part of everything are part of us; in said context become threatening. In an earthquake, one naturally occurring the earth suffers intense strain beneath its surface, plates shifting, energy releasing, etc. At the same moment there is an air about international relations that seems to be feeling the same stresses; and so despite the science I would claim that this earthquake in Hawaii, which also hit parts of Latin America is due to an immense amount of stress caused by chaos between nations. It seems we, America have hit a brick wall and the only moves we can make are the right ones, or else our world might just detonate itself. Unfortunately it seems all to do at the moment is wait for the moment when we can make the right move, and no move right now, other than gathering knowledge and credibility, seems to be the safest bet.
Dad- I am reading the Guardian and taking it in, that is energy.
Reve- I have come to understand what it is to feel so far away from a government that should always seem to be back you up.
In the end my atoms, and every-bodies atoms should continue to fissle and fusal as we re-enter a world we never should have opened the door to in 1954. Stress, and chaos are traveling at about a billion miles an hour in all directions. Fingers crossed, hope seems the only ally, and while its intangibility can be discouraging as Don Quixote says, "Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be"
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
I've been keeping a verbal log of some things for someone and today I discovered that I haven't had the batteries in it for the last 4 sessions. Damn.
Last night I had a dream that I was driving my parents, I was driving a British car and the speedometer would stop saying 80mph (inconsistency due to ingnorance). I was traveling really really fast, telling them I couldn't slow down and the road kept getting narrower and twirly. I don't think I crashed otherwise I would have woke up crying. My dreams have been in cars a lot lately. Last week I had a dream that there were two other people in the back of my mum's SUV and I was driving and couldn't stop until finally I saw that we were going to crash into a large golden brick wall at the end of a massive staircase. We crashed and I woke up very upset.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Current Ear Candy: Madonna
Current Mind Fuel: Thom York
(techno is my future, Leeds watchout ima keepup witcha)
Current Read: The Seven Daughters of Eve
Current mood:  empty Current music: Deltron
Monday, June 12, 2006
The next two weeks, NO APPLEBEES and that makes me smile.
But I miss the Florida sun, its warmer and more of an embrace than that fried egg feeling of the PA sun on the road.
Regardless, hello break! hello roo, nyc, and the beloved allentown.
Current mood:  tired Current music: The Beatles
Friday, May 26, 2006
I am having a love affair with the beach. I feel hard for the earth this time. His name is sandy and he resides at the edge of Ft. La-Dee-Da-Deee. We meet every morning when weather permits. My better judgement is sacrificed for the sake of his company. Hours I spend walking have blistered my feet with a pain, OH THE PAIN I AM SO ADDICTED TO THIS PAIN THAT STINGS THE BOTTOM OF MY SOULS (soles of my feet that is).
Sandy you must know what you mean to me, and how it is that I am drawn to you in sunshine or in rain. Sweet shorline, good times never were so good, I realize. And all the love I have for you sweet marine, green, pull from the northern shores my sweet comrades to bask on your sands (sand is fish poop). The east coast never looked so good as it does in the south. Underrated and ignored, (I am so alone; love Thom Yorke) come see for yourself its all in, its all in all; a different world and a beautiful place.
Current mood:  in love
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
I hate everyone.
Frigid and Hartless.
Satisfaction out the Window.
See you in June.
Warm and Musical.
Waiting for Peaches.
Current mood:  cold Current music: Marla is laughing in her sleep.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Adult Onset Narcolepsy
Foible
Jew-O-File
Banter
Ft. Lauderdale
Assiduous
Current mood: amused
Monday, April 3, 2006
7:40PM
Rockingham Park Mac Store, everybody say WOOOOOOOOO!
Friday, March 3, 2006
IT SNOWED
______ I had to write this night to you.
This evening I woke up to Noel and my roommate. I was recruited to get bundled up and go outside and play in the snow. And we did.
It started out pretty traditional, making snow angels, finding the best place to collect snow to make snowballs. THEN we began construction on summersault Mt. Obviously the next move was to utilize the purpose of summersault Mt., so we summersaulted over and over, Stephanie and I mostly. Noel played photographer. Two other housemates that you know, Tyler and John were investigating the snowball situation, we invited them to summersault mt. but they became convinced that the mt. was the center of dangerland, which we can only assume is close to Fakeland, sometimes they are close by, sometimes not, always moving.
Next we migrated to the front of our house where all the cars are parked in order to write on them. Soon we figured out that we could use the cars as a slide and started running up the back of the car and sliding down. Instructions for Sliding the Car:
1. Start about 8 feet away from the back of the car
2. Run towards the car at full speed
3. Using the bumper as a step to launch yourself as far upon the car as your calves can manage
4. Struggle, struggle, struggle to reach the highest place on the car the roof is the goal
5. When you give up, give up all the way and fall down the car into the snow
Five steps to creating your own snow slide.
I encourage you to try, if you need further instruction because these are not clear, we are proposing a video instructional. The illustrated manual is on the way as well!
P.S. Tyler-Drop it Like its Hot
Current mood: amused Current music: Apex Twin
Thursday, March 2, 2006
Proverbs for contemplation:
1. Talking can feel binding, as long as you listen to people the way you want to be listened to the equilibrium with surface.
2. Communication is overrated. (This is sort of my mantra right now)
3. Be self-sufficient in your morals.
4. Circular motion, visualize the circular motion and the self will be more accessable.
5. Stability is damnation.
6. Instability is a way to be stable.
7. The self can only stretch so far, exhausting it is exhausting.
Love,
Mary
Current mood:  calm Current music: Oh Yea the Beta Band
Wednesday, March 1, 2006
HI EVERYONE, I AM BIPOLAR!
Current mood:  awake
OH YEA, ITS FUN AND GAMES!!!!!!!
Current mood: amused
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
3:10AM
I HATE LIFE.
why i even bothered to sign in and write this, i shall never know.
FUCK. I WANt TO SEND PUNCHES TO MY FACE.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Friday.
Today I went to the Bay Campus. URI is wonderful because it is in Rhode Island and Rhode Island is cool because it is near the ocean. Oh the ocean. I am going to go read Moby Dick.
Current mood: seizure star Current music: Radiohead
Thursday, February 23, 2006
this feels so high school. except for the words coming out of my mouth and the drugs i am taking. nothing.
Current mood: tired
Friday, February 17, 2006
Two Books, Two Days
Current mood: drymouth Current music: Damn it Feels Good to Be an English Major
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